The other day a woman said something to me that made me tilt my head with total surprise.

She said, “You are so brave to put yourself out-there like you do.”

I was surprised by her words because the truth is, I am very shy.

I grew up near mute in social situations. I was scared of being photographed, in fact I was always that person who tried to hide behind someone else in pictures. I would break out in a sweat if I had to read out loud in class. I used to come up with all kinds of creative excuses to avoid doing things that would involve being watched, observed or accessed. I was scared of speaking up and saying what I really felt for fear it might conflict with someone else’s opinion. I often felt invisible, so much so, people often said to me, “I didn’t see you”.  The thought of mingling at social engagements felt like torture to me, and I rarely if ever used my voice and presence to let people know my true desires.

I was the classic embodiment of a shy person.

Everyone who knew me growing up, called me “shy”.

I am still shy, but a lot has changed since I was a kid.  Now I experience my shyness in a completely different way. I see my shyness as a gateway to my gifts.

If you’ve ever struggled with shyness, or you’re currently in the paralyzing grip of shyness, I’d love to offer you some soothing relief….

3 Lessons Learned from Being Shy

1. You have your own center of gravity

I used to think people who were the center of attention were somehow better than me. I felt like people who were outgoing had some kind of advantage. I would always be aware of who had the gravity in the room and felt inferior to them. I often felt like I was dancing on the outskirts in the land of the invisible.  It was easy for me to lose my sense of myself to the gravity of other people. I often resorted to being alone as a way to simple return to myself.

It wasn’t until I realized I had my own center of gravity and when I was in my center of gravity I felt great! When I was in my own center I felt like I could connect with people or be alone, either way I was okay.  I realized it took a spiritual muscle to be in my center of gravity. Once I tasted how good it felt to be in my own center of gravity, I practiced as often as I could!

How to find your own center of gravity:  Practice listening to what you really think and feel. The advanced practice is to express what you really think and feel to yourself and to other people.

 

2. Your spiritual comfort-zone brings you out of your shell

Your spiritual comfort-zone is different than the kind of comfort-zone that has you wearing pajama’s all day avoiding scary things. Your spiritual comfort-zone is the place where your soul feels at ease. When your soul feels at ease it can grow, express and expand naturally. Everyone has a spiritual comfort-zone, it is a place where you come alive!  Your spiritual comfort-zone may be in nature, in your home, in a library, or by the ocean. Perhaps your spiritual comfort-zone is the feeling you have when you’re dancing wildly to loud tribal music.

When you’re shy, it is possible you’re just not in your element. Just like a fish tossed on land, it is going to feel very awkward, out-of-place, and look for ways to get out of that uncomfortable situation so it can return to a place where it can be itself. The more you recognize your natural element you can release the need to beat yourself up if you’re that fish who found itself on land. Instead put your energy into finding your way back to the water where you can be yourself.

How to find your spiritual comfort zone: Find places that make you come alive!

 

3. Treasure your uniqueness

It is a frightening and liberating moment when you realize you are unique.  Being unique means no one else will perceive the world in the exact way you do. Being unique means no one else knows better than you what is right for you. Being unique means there is no one to copy, there are only sources of inspiration to fuel your dreams.

Being shy pushed me to spend a lot of time alone, which cultivated my uniqueness. The more solid I felt in my uniqueness the more comfortable I felt connecting with others who were different from me.

How to treasure your uniqueness: Identify what is unique about you and seek ways to honor and celebrate these qualities and attributes.

 

Being shy is not a bad thing. There are many gifts within the experience of shyness.

The only time shyness becomes a problem is if it is holding you back from living a life you love.  If you find yourself in that position, experiment with these 3 lessons and notice how your energy shifts to support you rather than abandon you.

If shyness is showing up for you give yourself permission to listen to your soul’s communication to find out what gifts are available for you within the experience.

How do you feel about  the 3 Lessons Learned from Being Shy?  Do you have any other lessons you would add?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Share your thoughts in the space below.

Inspire someone today! You never know who needs this exact message in this moment.

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