Parenting isn’t just for children. We all need wise, loving guidance in our lives to keep us growing and becoming the best version of ourselves.
As an adult, one of the most important skills you can learn is the art of parenting yourself.
Learning how to access true guidance within, encourage yourself, process tough emotions and genuinely showing up for yourself is paramount in these pressured times.
When you find yourself in need of some wise guidance, look to these Do’s and Don’ts to Parent Yourself with Love.
The Do’s and Don’ts of Parenting Yourself
1. DO Take time to be with yourself
When you think back to some of the most meaningful moments in your life they will always boil down to “presence.” Whether you felt another person was present with you, or you were fully present with yourself, or you were able to be totally present in your environment. Learning how to “Be” with yourself creates a sacred container of love that holds you, supports you and listens to the truth within you. Take time to be with yourself by listening to your feelings, acknowledge your inner desires and hidden fears, and most of all learn to show up for yourself in all your flavors and moods.
2. DO Be curious about your feelings
Your feelings offer intuitive messages and navigational clues for your life. Learning to understand the language of your feelings strengthens your energetic intelligence and helps you create a meaningful life. Respecting your feelings deepens your soul’s embodiment because you’ll have a safe space within yourself to exist. Be curious about your feelings and you’ll enrich your life in profound ways.
3. DO Align your life with your true values
Your sense of self-worth comes from where you place your value. If you have always placed your value on other people’s opinions, your sense of self-worth will come from other people’s opinions. Your values determine the direction of your energy. To find out what you value, simply look at where you spend your time, energy and money. Discovering your true values is soul work. It requires deep inquiry and self love. Give yourself permission to clarify what your soul values and align your life with what truly matters to you.
4. DO Take really good care of yourself
Caring for yourself includes feeding yourself quality nutrition and making sure you have enough rest and resources to thrive. Taking really good care of yourself also means challenging yourself in healthy ways so you have the opportunity to grow and learn. Discover all the ways that bring out the best in you, and make these things a priority in your life. Taking really good care of yourself helps you to be your best.
5. DO Be proud of yourself
Celebrate yourself when you learn a new skill, complete a tough task, express kindness or when you allow your authenticity to shine through. Be proud of the ways you courageously speak your truth. Find ways to show yourself how much you love and appreciate the ways in which you are growing, learning and becoming more and more yourself.
1. DON’T Compare yourself to others (especially people on social media)
There is a healthy way to gain inspiration from others, but when it escalates to comparison, you’re teaching yourself to objectify other people and use them as a measuring stick to determine your worth. This is not healthy for you and it creates a wall of separation between you and others. Explore healthy ways to enjoy the success of others and let it clarify your desires and life direction. Let your sense of worth be determined by the ways you are growing into yourself.
2. DON’T Avoid tough situations
Avoidance is a recipe for addictions. When you avoid, you weaken your ability to cultivate empowered coping skills. Avoiding tough situations is a way of avoiding responsibility and remaining a child. Even though you’re parenting yourself, that doesn’t mean you get to behave like a child when you’re capable of being an adult. Support yourself to learn new skills so you can find safety and support within tough situations. Learning how to process tough emotions like disappointment, anger, grief, and shame will give you life skills that will take you far.
3. DON’T Pile on too much
Imagine a child who has just learned to walk. They’re still a bit wobbly and reaching for chair edges to stabilize their steps. You wouldn’t expect this new walker to start training for a marathon, would you? Don’t do that to yourself. Respect your learning process and build your confidence by honoring the baby steps along the way. Expecting too much, too fast slows and stifles progress. The more you allow yourself to go at your own pace, the further you’ll go.
4. DON’T Be mean to yourself
As a wise, loving parent to yourself, don’t send punishing messages to yourself. They hurt. If you catch yourself being mean to yourself, take time out to listen. Find out where these thoughts originated so you have the chance to realign with love. Let moments of self-punishment be a door to deepen into self-love. Create a playful practice to notice what is great about you!
5. DON’T Keep yourself small
The whole point of parenting yourself is to support you to grow and become more of your authentic self. You keep yourself small by staying in the known and never venturing into the unknown. You keep yourself small by avoiding risk due to fear. You keep yourself small by holding yourself back from being vulnerable and learning new skills. Start stretching into your bigness by noticing where you’re keeping yourself small and find simple ways to help yourself grow.
I’d love to hear from you….
What did you learn from the Do’s and Don’ts of Parenting Yourself?
Do you have any other tips on how to parent yourself you’d like to add?
Share in the comments below.